A Curious Word
by CaptainWitty
Summary: Lily doesn't think she can stumble upon love. But what if she just tripped on it? LJ COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

Love is a curious word. Some people are able to say it quite easily, without a thought to its true meaning. I've never been able to do that. Having never been an overly affectionate person, it has always been difficult for me to even give a simple hug, let alone tell a person that I do indeed "love" them. If I were to ever say that to a person (outside of my family and closest friends), I'd have to be completely in love with them. It wouldn't be some silly infatuation where my unwanted hormones got the best of me. It would be something where I would willingly die for that person. Something in which I would risk everything for that person because they were worth it. That's what I think love is. That is why I have never really told a person that I love them.

Mr. James Potter, however, does not feel the same way about love apparently. For some reason or another, he used to call out his undying love for me a few times a day. Needless to say, I brushed these remarks off quite easily. Potter didn't "love" me. He barely even knew me. It wasn't possible for one person to feel so strongly about another when said person was only in their 5th year at Hogwarts.

It was so _easy_ to hate him when I was younger. He was so rude to me and everyone else. He played nasty tricks on the Slytherins. Some of them really did deserve it, but honestly the First Years? That wasn't necessary. And then there was the fact that he did so well in school without even trying. That had to be the most annoying part. He didn't even _try_ and he still did better than I did occasionally.

But then Dumbledore made him Head Boy. I originally thought that he must have had too many of those lemon drops he liked so much when he made the decision. Irrationality brought on by an overdose of sugar _must_ have been the only excuse for such a poor choice. As it turned out though, he made a brilliant choice. Potter is brilliant with both the younger and older students. Most of them respected him, which is more than I could say for myself. My bookwormish-ness brings me down, I think.

The thing with Potter being Head Boy and me being Head Girl was that I am forced to spend a lot of time with him. Although I began the new school year with very low expectations, he surprised me. He surprised me into really, really liking him.

The only problem is that he _used_ to call out his undying love for me. He _used_ to ask me to go on dates with him. He doesn't do that anymore. I couldn't possibly…ask him out myself. No, no. Obviously, he doesn't like me anymore. If he liked me, he would still be declaring his love for me. I missed my chance. He deserves more than I am anyway. I'm not pretty enough, nor funny enough. I'm much too book-ish for him. He needs someone fun that can go along with his antics. I'm much too uptight. We wouldn't go well together.

That's what I told myself all year, until one day, I stopped thinking. I just acted upon a stupid, silly whim not even thinking of the consequences.

After taking an incredibly difficult Transfiguration exam, I was a bit stressed, to say the least. James was walking beside me and trying to calm me down.

"Lily, I'm sure you did fine, you always do. Even when you are just so sure that you did terribly, you end up doing really well. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you."

"But I'm positive this time! I completely forgot how to change an object into an elephant so I just started to make stuff up. There is no way I got that question right…"

"It'll be fine. Besides, it is only one exam." James said as he looked at me and flashed a smile.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I have to go catch up with Sirius; I'll see you at the Prefects meeting, yeah?"

I nodded. And that should have been all I did, but no. No I can't do that. Can I never leave things as they are? It was just that the whole time he was talking to me, I couldn't help but notice how nice he smelled. The fact that he was actually trying to help me calm down instead of ignoring me like my friends did when I was rambling, made me like him that much more. I'll admit, that I do stress out way too often, so I don't mind that they just kind of let me rant without listening to me, but when he actually tried to help me…well, it really made me like him that much more. So that prompted me to do something really, really stupid that I'm regretting right now.

"James! Hold on a second!" I called out. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and received some pretty lethal glares from a few young Ravenclaws. It looked like they were racing to class. Why anyone would race to class is beyond me.

I jogged up to him. Then I did the unthinkable. I stood on the tip of my toes and kissed him - _on the lips._ I felt my face warm up, and I knew I was turning red. Damn my fair skin. Stupid parents with their stupid genetics. I think I managed to squeak out, "Sorry, but thanks for being so sweet to me," before I ran off.

And that brings us up to the present - where I am sitting by the fire in the kitchens, continuously banging my head on one of the tables. Which, if you didn't know, are actually quite hard.

Really, there is no way that I could possibly _love_ him. Love is for the deranged fools that believe life is full of rainbows and unicorns. Well, actually there are unicorns and rainbows in the world, but you really have to search for them – like love. Love isn't something you can just accidentally stumble upon, is it? I always thought that you had to search for it, something I never planned on doing.

What if I did stumble upon it though? What if I actually love someone outside of my family and good friends? Do I care enough about this one person, to die for them? Oh god…I think I do. So, I really, really like James. I think I may love him. Well, I just have to tell him that. Ha, this is going to be just super. Awesome…now, where did I place that cliff to jump off of?

**This is the second story I've ever written. I'm probably only going to have a few chapters in total (like 4). So constructive criticism is welcomed. And if anyone wants the next chapter, well I'll probably write it this week and then send it out the next. I'm pretty sure the next chapter is going to be from James' point of view.**

Well, good or bad? Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

I've always believed in love. Maybe it began with my naivety as a child. My parents sheltered me from the world because, as Aurors, they knew how terrible the world could be. As a child, I didn't know that anything "bad" existed. Everything could be resolved, if you took the time to talk about it. Eventually, my perception of the world changed when I went to Hogwarts. I gradually realized that, yes, there were terrible things in the world that were unavoidable. But, my belief in true love always lasted. Somehow I ended up telling Sirius about my belief in love. He scoffed at me and told me I needed to "stop being so girly all the time or else people would get the wrong impression."

So, as he was my best mate, I tried to squelch my belief in love. I thought that just maybe, he was right. I didn't want people to get the wrong impression of me, I was a manly man. At this time, I was in my First Year at Hogwarts. In all honestly, I wasn't much of a "manly man" at all. I quite resembled a stick, as Sirius likes to point out now.

Anyway, by the time Third Year came around, I started taking notice of girls. I can't say that I ever loved one during that time, but they were pretty. And, I found that if you were nice enough to them, they would snog you. Which was always quite fun, for me. I went through girls quickly for a couple of years.

Then, in my Fifth Year, I took notice of Lily Evans. She was pretty, but not the prettiest. But, she did have a lot of personality and intelligence. I only took notice of this after she kicked me (quite hard) in the shins for being "an unbearable ass." I don't _quite_ remember what I did to her. I _might_ have turned her right hand into a spork for a day. I think it may have been her wand hand, actually. Hmm…

The simple fact that she attempted to hurt me, drew my attention to her. The only reason I turned her hand into a spork was just because of bad luck, on her part. I picked someone out of the crowd, and she happened to be the person I picked. I didn't really "target" her like she thought I did. So after that incident, I asked her out on a date. I couldn't believe it when she _laughed_ at me. Nobody had ever turned me down, let alone laughed in my face! I was furious at first, but then I realized that I could make a sort of game out of it. I love games – they make everything so much more interesting. I bet Sirius that I could get her to date me by the end of our Fifth Year. I never expected to begin loving her. I did though, and I had no qualms about telling my Lily about it.

By this point, the bet didn't really matter to me. She wasn't just a conquest for me anymore. I really, really wanted to be with her. I don't think she ever realized that it wasn't just some stupid prank I was pulling on her. The Sixth Year proceeded much the same way – me proclaiming my love, her telling me to drown in the lake. Instead of taking her death wishes for me seriously, I took them as a joke. She couldn't possibly be serious. I mean, here I am proclaiming my undying love to her, and she tells me to die a painful death? Ha! What a jokester she was.

Remus was the one to finally tell me that I should lay off of her. He told me this the summer before Seventh Year. Something about how I was being a "cocky bastard" and Lily would never like me until I grew up a bit when I was around her. Remus was always the intelligent one out of the Marauders. So, I listened to him.

Seventh Year started out rather unusually because of this. I received Head Boy from Dumbledore, a choice I even questioned, and Lily, as expected, received the Head Girl position. She greeted me coldly on the first day and warned me that if I even thought of doing something stupid, she would make sure that I would never be able to have children. Somehow, I don't think that she was joking about that.

I followed Remus' advice and acted maturely. I didn't do anything stupid (at least when I was around her) and I acted responsibly. Sad as it is to say (at least in Sirius' opinion), I began to like the role of Head Boy. I felt like I was making a difference in some of the students' lives. I helped a lot with their school work and a few even came to me for relationship advice. I wasn't entirely sure what they thought I could do, but I did my best to help them with their problems.

Gradually, Lily began to warm up to me. I was extremely grateful for Remus' advice at this point. Sometimes, we would just sit in the Heads Room and do our homework together. Once we finished our homework, we would usually just talk. These conversations made me fall deeper and deeper in love with her. I did what Remus told me to do though, and I didn't tell her this. I didn't even ask her out on a date even though I could have done so on numerous occasions.

When she kissed me though, it was really unexpected.

* * *

I had just walked away from her when she said, "James! Hold on a second!"

So I stopped and waited for her to maneuver through the crowded hallway. I figured that I had dropped my book or something and she was going to give it back to me. But then, she kissed me! It was absolutely amazing. It was so light and warm. If I could have stayed in that moment forever, I think I would have.

I saw her face turn bright red, and I think she might have apologized. I don't even know why! I'm so confused right now. I mean, she definitely didn't kiss me on accident. I'm a few heads taller than her. She didn't even trip on me.

I told Sirius what happened a few minutes ago when I met up with him by the lake and he just shook his head and told me something about how girls don't make sense, and that they've all been around the bend. I don't even know where she went. She could be anywhere!

…Merlin, I'm stupid. How could I forget about the Marauders Map?

I say the password and begin scanning the map.

_Where are you? I need to talk to you…_

I've found her – she's in the kitchens. She doesn't look like she is talking to anyone or even moving. After a few minutes of just staring at the map, I managed to pluck up enough courage to go and talk to her.

After taking a few flights of stairs and going through a few corridors, I made it to the kitchens. When I finally open the door, I see her sitting by the fire. Is she banging her head on the table? What the hell? Maybe Sirius was right when he said that all girls were loony.

"Lily? Are you alright?"

**This chapter came out a lot earlier than I expected it to. I already have written chapter three, and I'm in the process of writing chapter four. I think there are actually going to be 5/6 chapters. I'm not entirely sure at this point, since I haven't actually planned anything.**

Thank you for the reviews everyone left. I was pleasently suprised at the good feedback, and I really appreciate it!


	3. Chapter 3

"Lily, are you alright?"

_That voice sounds familiar. Hmm? Should I stop hurting myself? Eh. Maybe I should. Nah! Let's just hope they go away._

"Lily? Can you hear me? Are you…hurting yourself? Because, really, that isn't good. You might not want to do that."

_I know it isn't good, but it feels good. That doesn't make sense. I guess I should answer Mr. Familiar Voice._

"I'm fine. Just inflicting pain upon my stupid brain for doing something stup -"_ James. Oh bloody hell._

"What did you do that was so stupid?"

"Just, um forgot to feed…Hernando? Yes, Hernando. I completely forgot to feed Hernando."

"Who is Hernando?"

"Well, you see, he looks like a ferret. But he isn't one. Really. Like he's a magical ferret. He can…breathe fire! It's really quite amazing. I mean, you would never think such a little thing could be so vicious! But he is."

_AH! I'm lying! Stop lying, Lily, stop lying!_

…_I can't! Oh Merlin, I think I ramble when I'm nervous. _

"Anyway, like I was saying, Hernando is very vicious. Especially when he isn't fed. You see, he likes to be fed. Even though he is small, he's a bit tubby. He could stand to lose some weight, and I keep telling him to lay off of the sweets, but no, no he just won't listen to me. Never mind the fact that I should know how to keep care of him. After all, I did read a book on ferrets. Hernando is a bit stupid, you see."

"Oh…I see." James looks a bit bewildered. I bet I confused him. I think I confused myself actually. I mean really, it shouldn't be that hard to just tell him that I…love him. Not hard.

"So Lily…about today. In the corridor…" _No, no. Don't say I'm insane. Don't tell me you don't like me anymore. Please don't. I don't think I could stand it. _

"Yeah, um, I'm really sorry about that. See I kind of…I don't know. But it was a mistake." _Brilliant Lily – how does "I love you" translate to "It was a mistake"? _

"Oh…a mistake? Ha, um, well. That's good. Because I…I, er, I have to go. Now. Peter isn't feeling good. And, I have to care for him. To make sure he isn't ill. So, uh, I'll go now." _He's glad. I knew he was over me. I just knew it. Don't cry, not now. Please don't cry. At least I won't have to see him until tomorrow. _

…

"UGH! Prefect meeting!"

_I can not believe that I have a meeting today. Of all days! Why couldn't we have one next week? Even tomorrow would be better than today!_

I decided that I would have to eventually, so I grabbed an éclair from the House Elves before leaving. Pastries can make _anything_ better. Except for this. God, I need to talk to someone. I still have a few hours until the meeting.

* * *

"Meghan! Stop walking – now!" Thank God Meghan is here. She'll know what to do. 

"LILY! HI! I haven't seen you in forever."

"…you saw me during Transfiguration."

"But I couldn't _talk_ to you then. And then after class, you just disappeared in the crowd, so I went off with Burt."

"Oh, well I have a problem. Can we go to our spot?"

"Of course. Let's go now."

When we finally managed to get to our spot (underneath the tree by the lake), Meghan plopped down.

"So, what's the deal?"

"I sort of…loveJamesPotter."

"What was that? Didn't catch it?" She's smirking though. That little witch…

"Oh, you heard me right!"

"I know. Well, I don't see what the problem is. Do tell."

"That is only part of the problem. The main problem is that I kissed him…"

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, I know. But anyway, the next problem is that instead of telling him that I loved him, I told him that when I kissed him, it was a mistake."

"You're really daft, you know that?"

"I do. Now, how do I fix it?"

"Tell him that you lied and that really you are desperately in love with him. And then, he'll carry you off and ravish you!"

I think I may have given her a look. No, no I definitely gave her a look.

"Wait?! It totally works in all those romance novels I read."

"Megs, I don't _want_ to be ravished."

"Ah, but everyone does. You just don't know it yet."

"Alright…but seriously! I don't think he even likes me anymore. I mean, he hasn't asked me out in so long. I bet he's moved on. Why wouldn't he? Really, I'm not that great. I told him to just kill himself and do everyone a favor once. That isn't a pleasant thing to say. Oh Merlin, I bet he despises me! Who wouldn't! I bet everyone hates me because I'm such an ass! I would ha -"

"Lily, shut up. Just go find James and tell him how you feel. I _know _he still likes you. I have the inside scoop."

"From who?"

"Classified information." she said breezily before walking off, flipping her long, black hair over her shoulder.

"But I don't know what to do yet!" I yell to her.

"Go talk to him Lils! It isn't that hard!"

_But what if I don't want to…_

_I'm a pathetic Gryffindor. I can't even talk to a boy. I will though, Prefects meeting…that's when I'll do it._

I managed to trudge to the Prefects meeting as slowly as possible. I still got there early. Even when I try to be late, I can't be. As, I opened the heavy oak doors leading to the room, I saw a speck of raven hair.

_Alright then. Here we go…_

"Uh, James? I need to talk to you. It's really important."

"Oh, hi Lily. What's up?" James said. He looks a bit uncomfortable. Like me…

"Well, I just have to tell you something. It is…really, really important."

"Go ahead." Oh, he looks hopeful. Or does he? Maybe my eyes are just playing tricks on me.

"See, when a girl likes a boy they…Wait, I don't want to say that. Just ignore that, okay?"

"Oh, er, okay." _Why am I doing my nervous giggling? Ugh, I have to find a way to just make that go away._

"Alright, so, I really like this boy, yeah? But the problem is, I don't know how to tell him that I, you know, _love_ him. I mean, how are you supposed to know if someone likes you back? I don't know how to flirt, let alone if someone is flirting with me. So, uh, what do you think I should do?"

"Uh, I guess you should just tell them so or something."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"So…who do you like?"

"Finally! I thought you would never ask."

"What do you mean?"

"I like _you_."

"Well that's good. I'm sure you two will ma -." Oh, I think he's just realized what I've said. He looks a bit shocked. I wish I had planned this better.

"You like me? You love me?"

"I do."

"So, Lily Evans, you _love _me?"

"Yes, but I mean if you don't love me as well, that's alright. I'm sure I can, you know, find some way to deal. I'll just have to join a gang. Yes, I think a gang shall make me feel better. And then I can eat an endless amount of chocolate, but I'll be just fine." Uh oh, I can feel the tears coming. I just have to get out of here, that's all.

"Lily, I love you too."

"It's perfectly alright that you don't like me. I mean I can completely understand. I'll, well, I'll go now. I hope you don't mind."

"LILY!"

I look up and try to move my hair in front of my eyes. And then he won't be able to see me cry. That'll work.

"Lily, I absolutely adore you and I always have. I love you."

"You, you…love me?" But he didn't answer me this time. Instead he kissed me. I felt weightless. Oh god, it was brilliant. But then I heard the door open. Stupid…

"What's taking so long peo -"

"Oh my gosh! EWWWW! Get a cupboard or something!"

"Shut up Henry! That is so sweet. I think we'll just leave them alone for a bit."

"God, Sophia! You're such a sap."

**

* * *

**


	4. Chapter 4  Epilogue

Before I met and proceeded to fall in love with James, I didn't think that I would ever really find love. I thought that I was perfectly happy without it but now I know better. A life without love is a life without colors. It seems alright, but it just isn't as it should be. Happiness isn't quite reached. You can't quite experience the world and all it has to offer.

James has opened my eyes so much. The world is no longer a dull and dreary place. It has so much more humor and life. James has made me love to live.

All my cynical notions surrounding love and life seemed to have disappeared. I still hold tightly onto a few though. Like it takes time to love and you should be willing to die for someone if you truly and completely love them. But James has opened my heart and mind, as trite as that may sound to some.

I guess everyone knew it was coming, but a year after we graduated from Hogwarts, James proposed to me.

* * *

"_James? Where are we going? I can't see a thing!"  
_

"_That may be because you have a blindfold on, dear."  
_

"_Why is that, anyway?"_

"_Top secret reasons. You understand, I'm sure."_

_Lily gave a little sigh, but nodded her head in affirmation. _

"_Ah! Here we are. I'll talk your blindfold off now." As he took her blindfold off, Lily could finally see where they were at –on top of a bridge that lay over a stream which was sparkling in the fading sunlight. It was almost dusk._

"_Lily, we need to talk." She nodded, but her face filled with apprehension. She couldn't remember one time where the phrase "We need to talk," ever led to anything good._

_"Every day that I'm with you, I find myself falling deeper and deeper in love with you. Silly things you do cause me to be even more endeared towards you. I love you so much. More than simple words can describe. And, I want you to be with me for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?"_

With that, James bent down onto one knee, and opened a plush velvet box revealing a simple ring with a diamond set atop of it. 

_"Of course I will!" Lily cried and jumped into his arms, kissing him fiercely. _

* * *

The memory of his little "victory" dance he did after receiving my answer still makes me laugh. Of course, he calls it a "happiness" dance since calling me a victory degrades me. Something about how the word victory infers that I was a prize? Either way, the memory was permanently burned into my brain.

I think I may be the luckiest woman in the world. I'm about to marry the man I love. What could possibly be better?

"Lils, get ready to go." Meghan says to me before walking down the aisle herself, Sirius and her interlocking their arms. They'd make an adorable couple. Too bad they're practically like brother and sister to one another.

And as I start my walk down the aisle, the bouquet of white orchids clutched tightly in my hands, I know that I'm going to be so happy. I know that I love James, and it was no mistake that I fell in love with him. I didn't stumble on love – I fell into its gentle hands.

* * *

**Wow! My first real story that I've actually finished! I wanted to thank everyone that reviewed this story. It really meant the world to me. Even though a bunch of people say that they don't need reviews and that they write for themselves, I don't follow them. The reviews really pushed me to write this. Also, I will freely admit that I am a review-whore.**

**I had a really difficult time writing this chapter/epilogue. Originally I planned on having this chapter be from James' point of view, but it just wasn't working out. I also wrote a chapter from Meghan's point of view, but I didn't think it fit anywhere. Because of that, I'm going to just be sticking it on as a chapter five. **

**But once again, thank you so much for reviewing/reading/adding this story to your favorites/story alert. It totally made my day(s). **


	5. Bonus Chapter

"REMUS! Come here!"

"I don't really want to Meghan. I'm in the middle of my book about the society of ancient wizards that lived in Egypt. It's really fasc -"

"Yeah, yeah – come here. I have to make sure that my classified information is right."

He's intrigued now. I know it. I can _feel_ it. Well, not really. But he's doing this weird thing where he lifts up his left eyebrow. I wish I could do that. But I can't. It's on my list of things I can't do – along with whistling.

"What classified information do you have and why would I have to confirm it?"

"Classified information involving Lily and Potter. I need you to confirm it because your mate, Sirius, looks a little…preoccupied, I'll say."

Sirius was with another girl. Swapping bodily fluids. Ugh, that is absolutely disgusting what they are doing with their tongues. I didn't even think you could do that.

"Well, go on…" Remus prodded.

"Well, I heard from a little flower that said flower loves Potter. Took her long enough to figure it out, but anyway, our little flower acted impulsively and kissed Potter. She then told him that she made a mistake in doing so, rather than admitting that she loves him."

"Ah, I see. Continue on."

"Lily asked me for advice and I told her to tell Potter the truth. I might have said that I knew that he loved her as well, so she might as well get it over with. But, I don't know if that is true or not, so I need to confirm it with you."

"It's confirmed."

"Good. I thought so, but I figured if I was wrong I would have to find some good hiding places early. She might just push me off a glacier."

"Meghan, I hate to break it to you, but there aren't any glaciers around here."

"That's merely a technicality. Well, I'll see you around then. More often, I'll assume, from now on."

"Meghan?"

"Yeah?"

"You do realize that we have to go to a prefects meeting. About now, I do believe."

"Oh! You're right. Well, come on then. Walk with me."

* * *

Remus is actually an alright fellow. He agreed with me that Potter and Lily are both impossible, therefore making them absolutely perfect for each other. They canceled each other's craziness out. Like two negatives being multiplied. A negative times a negative equals a positive. I think that's what it is anyway.

When we finally reached the door to the prefects' room, we saw everyone standing outside of it.

"Hey, Henry! Why isn't anyone going in?"

"Oh, god. It's a terrible scene."

"What's wrong? Is someone hurt?"

"Only my EYES!"

"What do you mean?" Remus piped in.

"Evans and Potter. Just gross. Ugh."

"Did they hurt each other? Oh Merlin, I thought they were done with the silly fights this year. I swear, if I have to deal with Lily's ranting about Potter one more time, I'll kill myself. I really will."

"And if I have to take James to Madame Pomfrey's one more time because he has tentacles growing out of his left nostril, I'll… Well, actually, I don't know what I'd do. But I would do something."

"Not, it isn't that. Evans and Potter are fine. More than fine, I'd say."

"What is it then?"

"They're snogging the living daylights out of each other!"

"Oooh! I want to see!"

"I'm warning you now, it isn't pretty!" Henry cried in warning one last time.

I ignore Henry (what does he know anyway?), and slammed the oak doors open. No one said I couldn't make a grand entrance. It seemed to startle the new couple.

"So! I heard you two finally got together…"

Lily's flustered. She's playing with the bottom hem of her shirt. I love seeing her uncomfortable.

"Yeah…I guess we are."

Then she does the cutest thing ever. She kind of makes a little stab with her hand and grabs James' hand. He looks about as happy as a kid in a candy shop.

I heard Lily murmur, "I think I'm in love..." before she softly kissed James on the cheek.

* * *

**So you might be able to see why I didn't stick this in as a regular chapter. I felt it was kind of...incomplete, and I just didn't know where to put it. But that was my fun bonus chapter. And the official end of "A Curious Word"**


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